There’s something that happens to you at 2:30 am. After being awakened after about two hours of sleep by a sick baby who can’t breathe…. After tearing the medicine cupboard and the diaper bag apart to find the nasal drops. After ticking off your daughter really, really badly by putting the drops in… And then sucking them back out after a minute or two with one of those squeezie sucker things…. Twice. Which brings a lot of joy to her…. After putting her in a strange elbow headlock to try to keep her from moving and sticking the squeezie thing up her eyeball. Which brings her even more joy – such joy you’re afraid that the whole household may wake up… And perhaps a couple of the neighbors. After two episodes of The West Wing. One of which has about 3 seconds of sirens which ends up with your 3 year old up and asking if it’s a fighter fighter truck (to you uneducated that’s a fire truck) – which currently terrify her. So, you tell her it’s on the movie and thank God for DVR because rewind and prove it to her… But she doesn’t want to see it twice and she walks back to bed seeming quite alert and awake – not to be heard from again… Baby screaming she sleeps through but 3 seconds of sirens and she’s awake….

And after all this… At about 2:30 am… The baby is really out. The “Lifting the Arm and Dropping it Test” proves that she’s thoroughly out. And you just look into that little face, lit by the light from the stairway, mouth partially open… You’re suddenly, simply, overwhelmed with how beautiful this child is. Suddenly overwhelmed with how much you love her. You’re amazed at the wonder of her.

Her flailing is over…. her angry cries are silenced. And none of them did anything to make you not love her – even a little bit less. You could hold her forever. And you just want good for her. You just want love for her.

It’s harder to feel that warm and fuzzy during the screaming. And the screaming changes as she grows… It’s funny – it happens so quick. From loving and cuddly to screaming. And then it goes from screaming to the terrible 2′s and tantrum 3′s and the screaming changes. They start to learn they are autonomous. They learn to go outside and pick tomatoes off the tomato plants and then try to hide the tomatoes. And then in the next day they’re in high school and their life is being built away from you.

Welcome to my week.

And they start making their own decisions. And they are off and on their own. And it’s scary! It’s frightening to let go.. Especially when they start making bad decisions. Especially when they rebel. Especially when they shake their fist at you and then at your God. Especially when you watch them destroy their own marriage and their home; watch their children stand with vacant eyes wondering where their daddy went…

And yet, every so often you go back in your mind to 2:30 am – and you’re still in love with them. You still see their beauty and perfection. Your heart still warms up with love for this amazing being that is yours… And if you could stop it all you would. If you could heal their heart you would. If you could hold them one more time in a headlock and pin them down so you could take care of their sickness; so they could find rest again you would. But you can’t – but you still see that 2:30 am perfect child again.

Jesus had that thought. It was somewhere between the loud scream that sent the disciples running. Somewhere after seeing a naked man running down the beach and before the man screamed, Luke 8: 28““Why are you interfering with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? Please, I beg you, don’t torture me!”

And in that instant, the love of God – pulsed through Jesus. The love that watched the 9 month old sleep and the 9 year old play with his friends; the love that said, it doesn’t matter what you do, who you are, I love you so much.

It fills Jesus and with power and passion, Jesus looks at the man and commands that this evil spirit come out of him.

What is demonic possession? Does it still happen? To understand this, you have to understand that the world we live in is NOT the entire reality. The world of taste, smell, sight, hearing, and touch is not all there is. Truly we are caught in the Matrix and there is another dimension that impacts us on a moment by moment basis. Ephesians 6 says it this way, “12 For we[c] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

We are in a world where there is a spiritual force that we do not see but impacts us. We live in a world that is under the power of Satan – who 1 Peter 5:8 “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”

And demon possession is real. It happens – even today. It’s what happens when someone says no to God and gives Satan power in their life. And the result of Satan’s power is death and mayhem. It’s sickness and disease. It’s shame and pain.

Jesus talked about it in a great parable in Matthew 12: 43 “When an evil[f] spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, seeking rest but finding none. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ So it returns and finds its former home empty, swept, and in order. 45 Then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there. And so that person is worse off than before. That will be the experience of this evil generation.”

Possession can come by choosing Satan – or by merely leaving your life open to anything. James says in James 1 “14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”

The empty places in our heart; those places not filled by God are where Satan can come in and mess with you.

Just because you’re harassed by Satan doesn’t mean you’re possessed. A person who has given their life to God daily cannot be possessed. But, you may still be impacted by the harrassment of Satan. He’s on the bloody hunt to destroy you.

But in all those decisions of those transition years, that revolt against God had finally backfired and now he was simply a plaything for the devil’s minions.

No one wants to loose a fight. And Jesus looks at this man – and He see’s that 2:30 am picture. The love of the Father pulses through His heart. He looks at his brother. United by humanity. He looks at this man who maybe never felt the true love of a father; he feels the pain of rejection this man has felt – even in his possessed state of being kept away from the town – living alone in the caves and cemetery – Luke 8:27 “For a long time he had been homeless and naked, living in a cemetery outside the town.”… Luke 8:29, “This spirit had often taken control of the man. Even when he was placed under guard and put in chains and shackles, he simply broke them and rushed out into the wilderness, completely under the demon’s power.”

Notice that Satan isolates. When we’re hurt it’s easier to isolate than go deeper into relationship. God bring us into relationships; Satan takes us out of relationship, into isolation.

And coming up from the beach, Jesus stands firm.

I saw A Few Good Men when I was in college for the first time. It made an impression on me. The plot of the movie is about a guy who dies at Guantanamo – and whether it was hazing or not. In one pivotal scene, one evening during the trial, the main characters two helpers are talking… Sam, who does not like the Marines because they bullied this young soldier asks the Jo, the defense lawyer who keeps Tom Cruise’s character on task, “Why do you like them so much?”

And she responds, “Because they stand upon a wall and say, “Nothing’s going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch.”

Not tonight… Not on my watch.

And Jesus walks up to maybe the greatest human to demon showdown in the history of the world and he says, “not today. Not on my watch…” He looks past the destruction; the nakedness, the torn body, the chains dangling from his wrists… And says, not on my watch…

He’s now a shell of who he was. The nightly screams have become one long desperate scream. His days are now night and his nights are torture. And there is no one that can hold him tight enough to take care of him. His sickness has taken over his life.

And this man was filled with demons. Their scream comes back, Luke 8:30:  “Legion,” he replied, for he was filled with many demons.” At this time in Roman history, a legion could be 5,120 legionnaires plus auxiliary troops. The point simply being, there’s a lot in here!

The demons see their chance. Wreck mayhem on their way out. Send us into the pigs! See, big herd of pigs over there. Let us go into the pigs.

Which seems strange to me… I mean really. Why pigs? I’m not sure what they were thinking? Was it just the closest thing that they could take control of ? If so, why did they all commit mass suicide? Who knows. I mean, I think it’d be funny to see a bunch of pigs possessed for a while – acting all crazy, going on a rampage… But they ask, and Jesus says yes. They think they’re going to ruin Jesus in this town; and Jesus is trying to free them from materialism.

And in a matter of minutes, the pigs are dead – drowned in the lake. And the man is sitting there, back in his right man. But, in my mind, not before Jesus grabs him into a cosmic bear hug that seems to last forever. God the Father looks one again into those clear, perfect eyes. And the Holy Spirit dances a jig.

But, the townspeople are ticked. Their pigs are gone. I gotta tell you, this is funny to me – they weren’t supposed to have pigs! Pigs were unclean! Why did they have pigs?

It seems they didn’t need to be “possessed” by the devil because money already had control of them. They can’t see the man standing in front of them because they’re freaking out that their investment property just slid into the ocean.

I think we don’t see more demonic possession today because there’s no reason for it. We’re already obsessed with money, sex, fame, busyness in life, being noticed, taking care of all the stuff of life – there’s no reason for Satan to “possess” we’re already obsessed.

And so the people in the community, they send Jesus packing – Luke 8:37 “And all the people in the region of the Gerasenes begged Jesus to go away and leave them alone, for a great wave of fear swept over them.”

They see this man and Jesus… And they see that they’ve lost their pigs.

The disciples are over to the side doing the victory dance; they’re ready to say, “Really? Really? You people see what He did with this guy, and now you’re asking Him to LEAVE? Really! Do you think that’s a good idea? I don’t think so! Jesus – light this place up! Drop the bombs. These people are idiots.”

But Jesus turns… Luke 8:37 “So Jesus returned to the boat and left, crossing back to the other side of the lake.” Because Jesus will never overwhelm free will.

And the man – watching this amazing dichotomy. Jesus who stood up to demons and said, not today; no more. You’re not going to hurt Him anymore… He backs down to the mob… He jumps up and says – NO! Don’t leave me here! These people are CRAZY! I’m scared to go back here. I might end up at the same place again. I’m a little scared here!

But, Jesus looks at him and says, you need your family. Your family needs you to come back and be a husband and father. Your parents need to see you again.

I didn’t save you to make you a side show on the road; I freed you to be free! Not to make you a slave again. Luke 8:39 “No, go back to your family, and tell them everything God has done for you.” So he went all through the town proclaiming the great things Jesus had done for him.”

I’ve read this story so many times… I’ve talked about it up front. I love this story. I love that Jesus gives him such a great model for witnessing- just tell people what I’ve done for you – this is pretty simple stuff. Not nearly as complicated as we try to make it.

But this week, God spoke a new message to me from this story….

I’m tired of being sick. It’s been 3 weeks, I think. I’m tired of my family being sick. I’m tired of being up in the middle of the night. I don’t have a lot to say… I’m too tired. So, instead, I’m just going to take you a little journey that takes you to the bottom line of where I am. So, again, welcome to my group counseling.

I hit a crisis point this week. Burned up. Stressed. Tired. Sleep deprived. And I called out to God. What are you doing? I can’t do this much longer! I’m tired! And I asked Him to come into my tiredness and fatigue…

And He said, I’ll take care of you…

And I said, sure, right. And I started going through the list… Here’s what you haven’t taken care of! I’m not sure you will take care of me!

And He said, I died for you. I will take care of you.

And I got a little upset. It’s amazing to be honest with your heart. I said, no, you died for me so I could do something for you… So I could serve You.

And the underlining story is… My kids need me. They need me at 3:00 am. They need me to not get sleep. The church needs me. My wife needs me. Everyone needs me and there’s no one to take care of me. And really, God, you just add more work to my life. I need to keep up my relationship with God going. I need to do good things. I need to do ministry….

And Jesus again spoke to my heart. I died to SAVE YOU. Not to give you more to do. I died to SAVE you.

Just like this demoniac – He looked at me and saw the 2:30 am Brian. The beautiful – away from the stress and tiredness and sickness – I was awake just enough to see Him hold me and stare into my eyes and say, “Oh, I love Him…. I love Him.” It’s an amazing feeling to be loved not for what you can do – but because you are loved. You are loved.

And He stands in front of you saying, not today. Today you are loved. You are loved. You are precious. You are valuable. I’ve SAVED you. Go back and show your family how it feels to be loved. Show your friends how it feels to be loved…

You’re loved. He’s saved you. He simply sees you in that 2:30 am way… Says not today, not on my watch. No one’s going to hurt you today. I love you.

]]> http://livetheexperience.org/blog/230-am-standing-on-a-wall/feed/ 1 http://livetheexperience.org/blog/my-life-now/ http://livetheexperience.org/blog/my-life-now/#comments Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:11:23 +0000 Heidi Summerlin http://www.livetheexperience.com/my-life-now/ Hello … I’m a member of the spiritual family here at the Experience and would ask that you take a few minutes and read on. I haven’t always been a follower of Christ … in fact I only believed in a “higher power” … whatever that was. Growing up I didn’t have much exposure to God but plenty of exposure to what Satan has to offer.

I have a family history of drug abuse, mental abuse, abandonment and much more that yet has to be dealt with … which I am sure is not surprising to many of you … you see all that and more wherever you go. I left my seriously broken home when I was at the young impressionable age of 16 … only to carry out some of the terrible dysfunction that had been passed down from my parents and then me to my three kids.

Please know that I don’t blame anyone for this dysfunction … at least I don’t now. But merely two years ago I was as broken as I could be. Being in control is my addiction; codependency combined with Satan’s discouraging words and temptations pushed me into a state of serious depression and anxiety. I felt I had nowhere to turn, no one to talk to, and no one who would understand. I didn’t think I was worth anything ‘cause that’s exactly what Satan was whispering in my ear … all the time!

But by the grace of our wonderful Savior, I am here and all I did was make a choice … I asked Him into my heart; told Him I couldn’t bear the pain any longer … He asked me to let go and give those burdens to Him … I am now 36 years young, have my three wonderful kids and have a husband that only God could bless me with.

So, I ask you … Do you struggle? Have addictions? Bear any dysfunction? God wants you to give those burdens to Him. The Experience family is a family of radical followers of Christ and would love nothing more than to meet you and introduce you to who God really is!

Heidi

Stacey Tennat -

What is a Christ follower?

What, I don’t know, why I am a Christ follower is not because of anything I do, but because of Him. One day He touched me and changed my life. I no longer desired the things of the world, but only to be in His presence, to know more of Him. This was not something I set out to do, it was something I craved. I craved to know Him, to be in His presence again. Earthly desires no longer had a hold on me. I only desired more of what had been given to me. This thirst this hunger draws me on and on over the years, through the trials, the hardships, the douts, fears and even the good times that don’t compare to being in His presence. To be shown the truths of His Word by His Spirit, to be shown the Love he has for me and for you, to see Him work in my life and in others, is worth more than the illusions of happiness this life offers. See for yourself! Look at the man dieing of cancer, praiseing God! Look at the poor man, thanking God for how rich he is. You think there dillusional! You don’t know, till you taste and see for yourself.

What is a Christ follower?

I guess it’s someone who can’t get enough of Christ.

Kevin Hinsdale:

The way I view being a Christian has changed over the Years. I use to think that I was better then everyone else and had one up on them. Looking back I think that though God has set us apart I was judging them for who they weren’t and who I was. Through the trials that I went through since two thousand I see things differently. I see that I am a sinner like everyone else and that the only difference is that I have accepted the gift from Jesus and have a future beyond this world. Being in the position I am now Satan doesn’t like it and through fire spears at me in my pit of dis pare, as the book Pilgrim’s Progress refers to it. Many times I fall. Now that I am where I am I can see the muck that is around me of sin. But Jesus has called us to keep our eyes on the father. This keeps our focus where it should be. So many times I want to do things and forget that the battle is God’s. You will not need to fight this battle. Position yourself, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, Who is with you. 1 Chronicles 20:17.

What’s your experience?